Surrender

A year of surrender is my heart’s desire for 2015.  My prayer is to surrender to God’s assignments for me, surrender to the strengths and abilities He has created within me, and surrender daily to live for heaven. 

I never truly know what a day may hold for me.  Undoubtedly, there will be times of contentment where joy is the natural expression of the moment.  When the grandchildren spend the night, when resting near a cozy fire in the fireplace and my heart is warmed, or when completing a needed task, joy abounds and surrender is simple.  Also true, will be the need to surrender to paths of resistance when control must be forfeited.  When grief strikes my soul, when frustrations fill the work place, or when disappointment floods my thoughts, surrender seems illusive yet necessary. 

Elisabeth Elliot said of her coming days facing dementia, “From acceptance comes peace.”  Where contentment and resistance reside, a Father of grace and love dwells.  I cannot accept one and deny the other.   Victories and struggles are the outcomes of God’s assignments for me.  And, His Presence on the journey means everything.  “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long” (Psalm 25:4-5).  In the surrender, peace will be found.

“In the morning, Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before You and wait expectantly” (Psalm 5:3).   May the first thought of my day be centered upon my praise to You, Father, the One who loves me.  Help me lay my requests before You, waiting expectantly for Your grace to fill my moments and be my strength.  In joy or in peril, I surrender the appointed purposes of my day to You.

I am a gift and treasure!  When the Father created me, He thoughtfully shaped me to display His glory on this earth.  This is my purpose!  Even though I’m a cracked vessel, God meticulously mends each broken place, needy corner, and glaring hole in the beautiful expanse of redeeming purpose.  He, who formed me in my mother’s womb, knows me for eternity and thinks of me more than I can imagine.  He has gifted me with abilities and strengths, not to wield for my agenda but to expense for His divine purposes so that He is made famous.  What an incredible honor and responsibility!  This past year, I’ve grown to a place of contentment in my journey as a widow.    I’ve discovered a passionate Laurie with dreams and goals and desires.  I’ve learned through pain that purpose is born and flourishes.  I am a testimony that God makes something beautiful from ashes.  I must declare His glory!  How?  Through my strengths created in me for such a time as this.

“ . . . it is the nature of [You, Father] to speak, to communicate [Your] thoughts to [me]”  (The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer).  May I listen to Your resounding voice of instruction through Your Word to me.  My strengths of encouragement and teaching, dwelling in thought, empathy, and achieving goals are not tools to be ignored.  They are to be embraced and fostered.  Through Your Word and by Your Spirit, teach me, use me, challenge me, exhaust me and fill me with You each new day.

Heaven.  My home.  I picture heaven constantly.  Loved ones reside there!  It is my home of hope.  I know I fail to even come close, but I try to imagine peace eternal, contentment, rest, and amazing conversations! Will I be able to relate to the warriors of faith or will I be in awe of their legacy once again as they tell of their stories?  What would be the conversation with David about wrestling the lion?  A perfect setting would be to listen to his stories while lying in a cool pasture resting upon the belly of a lion slowly breathing, purring in hushed rhythm.  True peace is unimaginable from this earthly perspective, but one day it will be my reality.  What I experience on this earth is just a foretaste of glory divine, a sampling, and a corrupted sampling at that.  Heaven is perfect in every sense of the word.  There is no one like God Who rides on the heavens and clouds in His majesty (Deuteronomy 33:26)!  All power and dominion belong to Him!  Heaven is a place I want to see.  This is a place that will be my home.  This is a place I long for.

Only the Father knows the number of my days upon this earth.  Until the adventures of heaven come to light, life on earth beckons me to continue pursuing God.  Esther embraced her purpose for “such a time as this” and rescued God’s people from death (Esther 4:14).  Joseph’s journey was riddled with mistreatment and undeserving drama, only to one day be God’s amazing instrument of preservation and hope for his people.  Because of Jesus, each day I am given is my opportunity to thrive with purpose because God’s assignments and heaven are waiting.  All of earth will pass away one day, but all the people I touch and all the goals I accomplish for God’s glory will remain.  My childish picture of what heaven may be is incomplete, but eventually, its true view will become my reality.  I’ll be home, gloriously home.

Until then . . . Father may “Every assignment [be] measured and controlled for my eternal good.  As I accept the given portion other options are canceled.  Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter . . . A quiet heart is content with what God gives.”  Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart. With a quiet heart, help me to embrace the joy and struggle in each new day, utilize my giftings and grow my strengths for Your purposes, and may the glorious view ahead of me always be heaven.  My days are Yours, Father.  Today and every day may I rest with open hands to have you fill them with Your dreams for me.

Surrender.