Monday, February 23, 2015

Unrepeatable Gifts - Wedding Memories

The day we prayed for had come.  A crystal blue sky casually decorated with fluffs of white was our backdrop.  Warm sunshine displayed its rays upon the ruffles and folds of Harveston Lake.  Busy hands and happy hearts scurried about the freshly cut lawn and brick adorned patio, making sure every well planned detail was in place.  Previously, a day of final assignments and check lists filled the time.  Center pieces, decorations, food arrangements, table settings, time lines, ceremony practice, ribbons, doilies, lace, white and blush pink roses, and a seemingly endless record of particulars were attended to by loving family and generous friends.  At this moment, my anxiousness had turned to contentment as my eyes absorbed the view.  All was in place.  Guests were seated.  It was time.  Kaitlin was getting married.

The gifts of this day began months ago.  Stumbling upon a wedding dress shop in San Diego, we nearly left without a purchase until I braved the room with the more “expensive” dresses.  Upon entering, I spotted it almost immediately; champaign colored satin covered in fine cream lace, fitted for a tiny frame with a keyhole back, rhinestone adorned bodice, delicate neckline, and flowing train.  It met every expectation perfectly.  Her eyes grew large and hopeful.  Trying it on was a pleasure.  Among the approving chatter of the ladies in the room, Kaitlin quietly blurted, “I want this one.”  Collectively, we sighed.  My eyes misted as sweet confirmation sealed my heart and hers.  The price didn't matter.  This was her dress.

Now, seeing her at the back of the aisle beautifully poised between her stunning brothers in dress military uniform, my heart must have skipped a beat.  I could not have been more proud of my children at any other time in history than that very moment.  How my sons had lovingly prepared for this occasion, planned ahead, got their uniforms ready with medals of honor, compared their achievements in lighthearted banter between the two of them, and honorably stepped into the role of father of the bride, gave me every reason on earth and in heaven to be the happiest mom on earth.  I was, simply and profoundly, happy.  Kaitlin was gorgeous and shining with her girlish smile, looking forward to her dream ahead, walking confidently, arm in arm, between two men she fully admired.  Adorning her bouquet was a charm with a vintage picture of her daddy.  Brion was there, walking with Kaitlin down the aisle.  Who gives this woman to be married to this man?  And, her brothers together proudly proclaimed, “Her mother and we do.” 

While listening to the ceremony’s promises, watching my beautiful daughter-in-laws generously support Kaitlin’s wishes, a best friend attending to every move of the dress, my cute-as-can-be granddaughter holding her basket of rose petals, musing over the handsome and whimsical smile of my new son-in-law, and relishing in the bride’s free spirited reactions, a firm gloved hand took mine in his.  My oldest.  I was taking it all in, and it was overwhelmingly perfect.  But, of course, my man was definitely missing.  Yet, everything and everyone was incredibly grand.  I gazed at Nic’s face; he gently smiled.  I looked over at Ben seated next to him.  My boys.  Brion’s boys.  Brion’s legacy of kindness, gentleness, integrity, and love for God and family demonstrated and lived out that very moment through his sons and daughter.  The firm grip around my tentative fingers spoke calm and security to my soul.  Love was seated next to me.  Peace was tangible.  How could a heart be so full?  Mine was overflowing.   Gratitude spilled from the depths.  Only God could discern this heart’s reservoir.  Nic’s hand was God’s, Brion’s, and his own, all in one.  
 
The ending of the lovely ceremony ushered in the beginning of the lively celebration.  Mexican food, a family favorite, was prepared.  Pearl dotted cupcakes with delectable fillings were carefully placed upon doilies and stacked books.  Burgundy and cream lace held vintage books, gorgeous flowers filled mason jars, and candles twinkled behind rhinestones and lace.   Guest’s chatter gave way to memories of the bride and groom so the tables could be released to eat.  Ben stood as the spokesman for his table and shared of the surprise it was to see his sister married now, when it seemed not long ago Katy was the little girl he and Nic  use to stuff into a suitcase for fun.  The laughter turned to tears when Ben, with choked emotion, admitted the struggle of not having dad among us.  Ben’s passion blessed his family.  His voice needed to be heard.  There could not have been a dry eye in the house.  Everyone knew.  Brokenness clung to each of Brion’s family’s hearts this day, yet we triumphantly celebrated. 

My turn was near for my address and toast for the new couple.  While I had been thinking about what to say, certainly uncharacteristic of me, I hadn’t prepared notes.  My heart spilled the record of what I felt at that moment.  My exact words, I can’t even recall, but my message was love.  Earlier that morning, a friend had texted me a beautiful picture of what this day held, here on earth, in heaven, and for the future.  I conveyed some of her thoughts in what I said.  Brion had already gone before us and saw this special day when he entered heaven’s gates as he no longer saw in part but saw fully God’s plans for his family being fulfilled.  God whispers that He has Kaitlin in the palm of His hands and that His plans for her are beyond my wildest imaginations.  God vows to come alongside her and bring them to pass himself.  I shared how proud I was of Kaitlin and how proud I know her daddy would be.  I honored Ryan for his obvious true love for our daughter and his acceptance of me as part of his family.  Confidently and by God’s grace, I placed Kaitlin in Ryan’s care, and then extended my hand and asked, “Kaitlin, would you dance with me?”

Gasps filled the room in response.  Kaitlin smiled, stood, and gladly accepted.   We glided onto the dance floor.  Each of us embarrassed at our lack of eloquent skills, danced as if it didn’t matter.  I brought her close and told her I loved her.  I twirled her around like a princess at the ball.  My eyes were fixed on her beauty, innocence, and joy that very moment.  No one else was in the room, until a handsome young Army drummer took my place and finished our dance.  Nicolas and Kaitlin completed the moment, arm in arm, with Nic leading and Kaitlin following.  Beaming, I sat down.  This day held countless treasures for me, moments etched across my heart forever.  We had done it.  Brion and I saw this day take place, together.  Our two perspectives were unique, but we are one and shared every moment.  Tears fill my eyes as I write.  How thankful I am for every good gift God has given me. And, at times, they break my heart.  

February will forever be a wonderful month!  Thirty-five years ago, a first celebration took place on February 23, 1980. The girls wore pale green, my favorite color, with wreaths of daisies upon their heads.  The guys dressed in brown tuxes, and Brion sported the standard of the times, white tails.  My dress had a pleated skirt and flowed with small delicate, lacy flowers as a trim.  A veil hid my nervousness, the bouquet held white roses and daisies, and my dad proudly walked me down the aisle to my future.  Brion and I shared our vows of love for one another in the presence of family and friends. We were very young, yet certainly meant to be together.   

I had no idea that day what struggles and heartaches were in my future.  As well, I could have never imagined how our love would grow and become one of the greatest earthly treasures I embrace today.  Three wonderful children, two added daughters and a son who are perfect for our family, and soon-to-be five beautiful grandchildren are the results of those long ago seeds planted in love’s rich soil.  A life of serving our Lord Jesus will forever be the honor and crowning glory of our union.  My wedding gift, then and now, is two lives made one, graced with more than thirty years of joy, tears, struggle, and tremendous love.  What a beautiful, sweet memory of long ago.  I welcome the new treasured memory of just a couple weeks past.  Love truly is forever. 

Thank you, Father, for the good gifts you lavish upon your children.  This February, mine are treasured memories that time cannot erase.  Decorating my heart forever, they remind me of your faithfulness and inseparable love, that you are the promise maker and the promise keeper.  My family is so precious to me, but even more so to you.  My own wedding day will never be forgotten, and Kaitlin’s wedding will always be a special gift to me.  I never dreamed there would be so many details of life that would mean so much, but you did.  These unrepeatable gifts will shine forever in my heart as blessings from a Father to his daughter.  Thank you, Father, for holding my heart in your capable, strong hands.  I love you so.


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